Wow! An entire month has gone by and i haven't blogged about it. To be quite honest, i feel as thought i haven't had human contact in a month! I think that the majority of people who read this (if anyone) knows that this past month has been pretty tough for me. Here at FullSail, you only take one or two classes a month. Everyone thinks that it is a great idea to be able to focus all of your efforts into a small amount of classes. And believe me, it is! BUT, it means that what normal schools do in a 3 to 4 month period, FullSail does in 30 days... Classes are more frequent through the week, labs are busy, and whatever you do, don't fall behind, cause you will fail.
So now that i've set the stage for what it is really like here, let me tell you about my last month. I took two classes: College Mathematics, and Computer Science and Internet. Need i say more?! CSI i was a little unsure of because, i know how to use Word, check my email, get on iTunes and the internet, and thats about it... But the class that i was really nervous about was math. Math has never been my best subject, and certainly nothing which i have ever enjoyed. But i was determined to do my best, and pass the class.
Day one at math class, all of the students were standing outside the door of the classroom talking about how much we suck at math, and one of the reasons we came to music school is so that we never had to do math ever again. The instructor comes, unlocks the door and lets us in. All of us take a deep breath and go find seats. Our instructor writes "BADGE CHECK" on the monitor screen (all students must wear there student ID's around there neck, like a backstage pass. Instructors check badges for attendance, which is a part of our overall grade). So everyone stated a line at the front desk of the class. Our instructor looked like he had just rolled out of bed, and wasn't completely awake yet. I walk up and say "hey, how ya doing?" his response is something like "uuuhhheeerrrrggguuuuhhhh, 'bout as good as i'm gonna get i guess... how 'bout you?", "pretty good", "well i'm glad to hear that... i guess". My first interaction with the instructor for a class that i hate, and thats what he says? Now, i'm worried.
The four hour lecture went fine, nothing that i wasn't already at least familiar with, so i was feeling better. Right after the lecture, we went into our four hour math lab. There were several "labbies" (the instructors for the lab) already in the class. And this is the first thing they say to us "We're not going to teach you anything, that's what your lecture is for. We're here to make sure you are working on math the entire time you are in this lab. At the end of every lab, you'll take a quiz on what you've learned from that day. And if you don't do well, it means you haven't worked hard enough!"
This rant went on for a good 15 minutes, talking about all the things that we couldn't do, and how they "demanded our respect", but they also told us that they were under no obligation to be nice or kind to us... and that we shouldn't expect them to be nice. Then we had to sign a contract agreeing that we would respect them and follow all of there demands-- i mean rules. So, now i'm five hours into a long long long month of math and i'm freaking out.
The month went on for what seemed like forever. I went to class, came home, studied, slept, went to class, came home studied, slept less. And that was all i did for the entire month. I wasn't doing well on our lab quizzes, and was having a hard time learning and understanding all of the work. I applied for a tutor, went to extra lectures to better understand the material, talked to my instructor and other instructors in the department, and spent countless hours on the phone with my Dad trying to figure everything out.
But nothing seemed to help, i was still BARELY passing the class! Here I am busting my butt, and barely getting by! It was discouraging to say the least. I love to work hard, but really only on things i care about, and math is not one of those things. What's worse is i noticed that my CSI grade was starting to fall. CSI was going well, and i knew i could do better, but i just didn't have the time to devote to it because of math.
There were so many times that i wanted to give up on math. I would be sitting in lecture, and a student on one side of me is reading a magazine, and i have a student on the other side who is listening to his iPod, and they were getting 90's on the quizzes, and 100's on the tests. It just didn't seem fair! The whole month that I was in the class I just heard what my parents would always tell us when were were in school:
"don't convince yourself that you can't do it, because then you'll start believing that you can't. Just keep reminding yourself that you can do this, and keep working hard".
At the beginning of the course, they told us, that a large majority of students fail math class on a regular basis. But i knew that for me, that wasn't an option, because this class was pure hell. Those labs were hell. And i didn't want to have to fail and take the class all over again.
As the final weeks of math drew to a close, I was feeling a little bit more confident in my ability, but i really wasn't sure if it would be enough to pass the class. I went and met with my instructor, and he said "if you can give me at least an 80 on the final, then i'll let you go on your marry little way. if you can't give me an 80, then i'll see you next month." I had gotten an 82 on my last math test, so i knew i was capable of doing that at least one more time, especially if it meant repeating the class or not.
So i had two days to study before the test, they had a review for the test on our student website, so i downloaded it and went through all of it with my Dad. I showed up at class that Wednesday to take the final, feeling really relaxed and confident about the whole thing... which made me MORE nervous, because i thought, "am i TOO relaxed!? Do i even have a clue about what i'm doing?!"
The instructor handed out the final tests and said if we wanted to know our grades to email him at the beginning of the following week to see how we did. I took the test, and felt awesome about it! The most confident I had been the entire month! Now i just had to wait...
I emailed my instructor the next Tuesday to learn my fate. His response was "you passed the class... just barely! congratulations!". I thought, "this entire miserable month and that's all you've got to say?! Do you understand how hard i've been working?!?!". Hahaha. But i didn't care because I FINALLY PASSED MATH CLASS!!!!
Man, it was a really hard month. The timing was awesome, because i was able to go home for thanksgiving and celebrate, and not be distracted or discouraged by the fact that i would have to possibly repeat my month of hell.
So for those who prayed for me, thank you thank you thank you! And thanks to girlfriend and friends that i hardly spoke with the entire month, but a really big thanks goes to my Dad, for all of the time that he spent helping me through all of the work and explaining it to me, and not getting frustrated. I learned a lot this month, and not just about math. I feel like it has been a personal victory that, even though i was so discouraged, i never gave up this month. And that's pretty cool.
Now that i can solve for variables, and factor with lead coeffients other than one, and graph all of it... could someone tell me where i'll use all of this information in a recording industry job?
for His name and renown,
Aaron.
Ps: i'll do more of an interesting blog later, talking about life outside of math class. :)
